Do you know the miserable husband syndrome?

It is not a real psychological illness, but miserable husband syndrome is a very common condition. This is a behavior that affects mature men who withdraw emotionally within the couple. The husband or partner, especially after many years of relationship, may reveal an emotionally distant, passive-aggressive or chronically dissatisfied attitude.

Miserable husband syndrome, an attitude that wears out

The "miserable" husband is not necessarily bad or abusive. He is more often absent, even when he is physically present. He does not share, does not participate, does not listen. On the contrary: he often complains, criticizes, closes himself in his world made up of routines, television, consolidated habits. It is as if he had given up on really living the relationship, leaving the other half of the couple to carry all the weight of communication, family organization, emotional life.

Where does this syndrome come from?

There can be many causes:
Aging and retirement: losing one's job or social role can trigger an identity crisis.
Disappointed expectations: A sense of personal or professional failure can lead to withdrawal.
Rigid male cultural models: Many men have not been educated to express emotions or communicate in a healthy way.
Lack of external stimuli: if the couple lives isolated or in a routine that is too tight, it is easy to switch off.
Psychological problems: such as masked depression or unrecognized chronic anxiety.

What impact does it have on the couple?

Those who live next to a "miserable" partner often feel alone, unseen, emptied. Over time, it can develop psychosomatic symptoms, decreased desire, repressed anger, guilt. Some women begin to think about separation. Others seek refuge elsewhere. But often the first step is silent frustration, which undermines the quality of life and individual well-being.

Can anything be done about the miserable husband syndrome?

Yes, but we need awareness, communication and a mutual desire to get out of stasis.
Talking openly with your partner can help break the spiral of silence.
Asking for support from a couples psychotherapist can make a difference, even in mature age.
Rediscovering common activities, even simple ones (a walk, a shared hobby), can rekindle the sense of closeness.
For humans, learning to recognize and express their emotions is fundamental. It's never too late.

Why is it only being talked about now?

For a long time, relational crises in old age were invisible. It was thought that "now the couple is like that", that "we stay together out of habit". But today, thanks also to the greater attention to mental well-being and the growth of active longevity, more and more people are questioning the quality of the relationship even after the age of 60. And they are no longer satisfied with a lukewarm or dull affection.

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